Last night as I was pulling into my home I was abused and threatened. As I was turning into the gate that leads to my car parking space a shout and crash met me just next to my driver's window. I looked down to see a middle aged man picking himself and his bike off the road.

He'd bolted up from behind me on the wrong side of the road, despite me being stationary and indicating to turn right he was incredulous as to how I'd dare to nearly knock him off a bike he was riding too fast, without a helmet and weaving around me, on my driver's side.

I wound down my window and immediately any concern I felt was met with aggression. Insults were traded and the posturing of "get out the car I want a word with you" soon followed. After pointing out the man was on the wrong side of the road sneaking up on my blindside he then decided he actually "wanted a word" with me because I had apparnetly "nearly put [him] in the kerb" somewhere vaguely down the road because I was "a fucking stupid clown". The incident leading to him falling off his bike was forgotten about once his culpability had been established.

I couldn't control myself any longer. As suddenly as the fool appeared on the floor beside me an urge swelled up inside me and I suddenly started laughing at him. Right in his contorted snarling face. It was clear he was losing the initiative. His undirected aggression was giving way to his embarrassment.

Lying would be unfair. I can't deny as I wound down the window I studied his body language, his lack of balance as he leaned all over my door. I Listened to him but didn't really process the words. I was already sizing up if and when and how I'd hit him first. Not out of spite but necessity if this man chose to keep escalating the situation. Interestingly as I spoke with him and tried to reason with him, pointing out the fact he was at fault for what was a small and inconsequential 'nearly-accident' he backed off. Choosing to insult me from further away instead.

To some of you I may sound worse than him, talking of striking first and hard if necessary. However the training and outlook I've been given is to make a preemptive strike if necessary. To do the right amount of damage to someone to protect yourself.

After the adrenaline, confusion and ludircrous nature of the incident had played out in my head back on my sofa,  I began to smile. I realised my training had come into play and I had 'won' by "fighting without fighting" as the kung fu movies might say. I put my point across, clearly and defiantly. I was not intimidated and I was under control of my emotions at least outwardly throughout the confrontation. But even better than that I risked neither my health, the man's health nor my liberty by  starting a fight or assaulting him. Nor did I give him the opportunity to do the same.

After realising I had been given no incentive "to step outside" in a classic duel way and that I was quite happy to get on with my life the man soon rode away, angry and upset. But instead of being baited by childish aggression and name calling I chose to let the man vent a little, come to terms with his mistakes and gave him the opportunity to move on.

Had I verbally or physically taken away his dignity, given him nothing else to lose then quickly I would have found myself fighting him and perhaps injuring one if not both of us. It was a very real and very out of the blue test of all I'd learned without throwing a single punch.

The real key as found in many philosophies is that it is possible to pick your battles and still win without going to war. That's what my training and pursuit of martial arts is all about. Being so good at reading and controlling a situation I should rarely need to use force.